Wow. Life, huh?
Awwright so lets get caught up. Divorce... imminent. God knows what transpired when I agreed to divorce... jeesuz. God don't know shit. I know!!!! Hard. So I won't get into too much of it, will only say that two people that came from incredibly hard circumstances, married way too young... have managed some kind of miracle.
We are back together and better than ever. So much so that I have room in my heart for Super Tuesday? Think I would've cared a month ago? Nahhhhhh.
Meanwhile, I'm working at a lab now, with tissues and serum, and urine and spinal fluid, sputum, fecal samples. Every night, ten hours a night, graveyard shift I handle people in a test tube. It's pretty wild, pretty amazing to me. I love my work. Ten hour shifts graveyard is a bitch, no doubt. But I work 7 nights on, 7 off. Means I get two weeks off a month to be with my loved ones. And I've become a different person meantime. I went from housewife to good-god-how-will-I-provide? I've experienced the male side of me and it's been really good for me.
We live in a hard, cruel unforgiving world, don't we? Men... God I feel for you now. I learned so much, shlogging myself off to the job, coming home grey skinned and bleary eyed to get my kids off to school... sleep while they were there and pick them up, get them dinner, keep their clothes clean and get myself off to work. I'm not saying men everywhere gotta worry about dinner and laundry. I'm saying... meantime, they needed my love, my humor, my concern for their troubles in math. In my experiences over these past few months I have gained an appreciation for the other side of things. I honestly didn't understand how deep my husband was pulling to bring out mr. jolly as he walked in the door at night, worried about finances and having pulled a long emotionally draining day on the job. I was so naive.
Dizzy, don't know if you're reading me now. But you made a comment that has echoed in my thoughts often during my separation. You described knowing what single mom-hood was, how hard it was. I get you now. I'd seen it with my sibs, but going there and feeling it is quite the experience, isn't it?
Don't misunderatnd, I didn't go back to my man because it was hard, I am inordinately proud... I went back because I could feel on some level, the harshness of the situation had changed something... and it was enough to work off of. But I will never forget how hard this whole thing has been. I've never visited such pain, such fear.
So. Anyway... Super Tuesday approacheth. If I were to put out my psychic vibe, I'd say hils is gonna win the whole she-bang (unfortunately). But that doesn't mean I can't get my ass out there to cast my dreams at the voting booth. I've met few conspiracy theorists as extreme as I am, but I'm also a believer in miracles at this point in my life. Never could I have imagined my marriage could get back on track... nah... onto a better track than it's ever been. I'm not sure what happened, I just know suddenly things felt different and we are busting our asses in counseling to make something better than most dare dream of between us.
Neither of us was conditioned for joy. Yet joy is what we have. Yah, it sucks processing the behaviors of each other during separation. goddamnit... that shit hurts. But in my wildest dreams I knew that nobody could ever "get me" the way my husband does. That I get to be back in his arms, we are both under the same roof (wondering what the hell to do with the other one!) is amazing.
So here I am. During my 7-on, ten to twelve hour graveyard shifts you won't hear jack outta me. I walk in the door, brush my girls' hair and get them to school then drop into bed, sometimes fully freakin clothed and go pick them up after school. But at some point, as I come down from it all on my 7 off, I might make a post or two. I'm glad my little blog waited for me. I actually got a comment today from a romney/ron paul deal-e-o I'd posted. Good stuff :)
I'm proud of my blog, I've felt a loss when I had no time to devote to this aspect of myself, this part that needs to stand on a rooftop and tell the world to pay attention.
I've missed my friends out here. :) BUT, I've loved learning about other sides of me, I'm living life to it's fullest these days and attacking my husband of twenty six years as if I were back to 17... I've never seen a blueprint for life that matched my own and I kinda like that! Wrinkle in time? I don't know. Just know something in me died a long time ago and it's come back to life. I don't care why, I'm loving that it's there.
The alaskababy you were used to is a bit different now. But... her head is still in the game, she still wants to tell people to fucking wake up. She's just living her own life more fully than she ever did before. She'd rather candles, good tunes and her man to a brilliant blog entry. Maybe she can learn to write well on the fly, eh?
xoxo
Friday, February 01, 2008
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
So I'm in my new place we got our internets up and running
I've missed my blog. But my life has changed so drastically, I don't have cable t.v. and at this point not even local channels. I'm considering keeping it that way, what does the squack box emit but mindscrambling bullshit in between commercials, anyway? Why pay for that? Of course that doesn't mean I can't keep up with my news the way I always tried to, via my favorite blogs and "underground" news sites.
But truth... right now, my own navel needs more of my focus than this whacked world, it's just gonna have to get on w/o me poking at it for awhile. And most importantly, my kids need me. I haven't a clue what's happening outside of them, my job and my divorce.
I bid all of my dear blog friends a fond adiu. Thanks for all of the great discussions, thanks for all the learnin' and for the laughs.
Sandy
But truth... right now, my own navel needs more of my focus than this whacked world, it's just gonna have to get on w/o me poking at it for awhile. And most importantly, my kids need me. I haven't a clue what's happening outside of them, my job and my divorce.
I bid all of my dear blog friends a fond adiu. Thanks for all of the great discussions, thanks for all the learnin' and for the laughs.
Sandy
Friday, August 31, 2007
Boy Scouts a Perp Playground
Maybe I've mentioned this before here on my blog, but the one and only "fight" my oldest son and I ever had was when he insisted he wanted to go to scouts with his mormon buddy. Scouts is one of those programs where when it's good, it's great. But the potential for harm is also just too great. The church my family and divorce partner's family once attended had a perv at the helm of it's scouting program and we watched the fallout from it over the years with many of these boys as they became adults. The scout leader has passed away before we began to learn of his abuse. He'd been given free reign for far too many years, parents grateful that they had this enthusiastic, devoted scoutmaster to teach their boys.
pulled from the raw story
CBS News reported Tuesday on "disturbing revelations" regarding the Boy Scouts, saying that "over the last 60 years, at least 5,100 adult leaders were kicked out of the Scouts because of allegations of sexual abuse."
That figure emerged as the result of a lawsuit against the Scouts by two brothers, who told CBS they were abused throughout their entire childhoods by an assistant scoutmaster who has since acknowledged his guilt.
"Thousands of secret Boy Scout files ... were turned over to the brothers' attorney" as a result of the suit, CBS reported, and the attorney told CBS his analysis showed troop leaders were being tossed out for suspected abuse every three days before 1991 and every 2 days since then.
The Boy Scouts insist that these numbers represent only a tiny percentage of scoutmasters, and the organization now requires criminal background checks and has instituted educational policies intended to prevent abuse. Despite the increased scrutiny, the head of the Scouts' child abuse prevention program was convicted in 2005 of trafficking in child pornography.
video is from CBS's Evening News, broadcast on August 28. (scroll down to bottom of story for video)
pulled from the raw story
CBS News reported Tuesday on "disturbing revelations" regarding the Boy Scouts, saying that "over the last 60 years, at least 5,100 adult leaders were kicked out of the Scouts because of allegations of sexual abuse."
That figure emerged as the result of a lawsuit against the Scouts by two brothers, who told CBS they were abused throughout their entire childhoods by an assistant scoutmaster who has since acknowledged his guilt.
"Thousands of secret Boy Scout files ... were turned over to the brothers' attorney" as a result of the suit, CBS reported, and the attorney told CBS his analysis showed troop leaders were being tossed out for suspected abuse every three days before 1991 and every 2 days since then.
The Boy Scouts insist that these numbers represent only a tiny percentage of scoutmasters, and the organization now requires criminal background checks and has instituted educational policies intended to prevent abuse. Despite the increased scrutiny, the head of the Scouts' child abuse prevention program was convicted in 2005 of trafficking in child pornography.
video is from CBS's Evening News, broadcast on August 28. (scroll down to bottom of story for video)
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
water = poop, wine = health
As Ben Franklin said :
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is Bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - Bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is Bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - Bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Future Was Yesterday: Fear Is Coming To Eat You Alive!
lively, as always: The Future Was Yesterday
Shampoo: "I wish knew how to quit you"
I don't think I have the guts to try this. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is dirty hair/smelly scalps. yeeeeesh!
"If you want hair as fluffy as mine, the solution is staring you in the face"
timesonline
Matthew Parris
In 1996 I wrote a weekly humorous column on these pages. Returning from an expedition where we could hardly wash for weeks, I reported that my hair had become progressively greasier, and then — to my surprise — begun to get less greasy again. I recorded my hunch that it might not be necessary to wash your hair with shampoo, soap or any kind of de-greasant. Pointing out that cats and monkeys never use shampoo yet do not seem to suffer from oily fur, I suggested that if humans, too, stopped stripping our hair of natural oils, our scalps might stop pumping them out. I promised readers I would try this. Maybe they thought I was joking.
Today, after ten years of washing my hair with fresh, warm water alone — ten years during which no kind of de-greasant has touched my scalp — I can report back. Readers, if only you could all run your fingers through my hair: as light and fluffy as a kitten’s coat. And (to answer your unspoken question) not at all smelly — snuffle your noses in it, do — because I rinse my hair daily under the shower. Do you soap up your kneecaps every day? No. Are they oily or smelly? I doubt it. Exposed to light and air, human skin and hair find their own balance, the oil-glands secreting just enough to protect. It is our habit of stripping this viciously from our scalps that panics the glands into overproduction — that is why your first few weeks will be an uncomfortably greasy time. But persist, and you’ll come out the other side with less dandruff than when you were shampooing, and less greasy hair than the second day after you quit.
Think of the money, think of the pollution, our nation could save. No wonder everyone’s going bald. One day I shall be hailed as a lonely prophet of the nonsense of shampoo.
h/t SOTT
"If you want hair as fluffy as mine, the solution is staring you in the face"
timesonline
Matthew Parris
In 1996 I wrote a weekly humorous column on these pages. Returning from an expedition where we could hardly wash for weeks, I reported that my hair had become progressively greasier, and then — to my surprise — begun to get less greasy again. I recorded my hunch that it might not be necessary to wash your hair with shampoo, soap or any kind of de-greasant. Pointing out that cats and monkeys never use shampoo yet do not seem to suffer from oily fur, I suggested that if humans, too, stopped stripping our hair of natural oils, our scalps might stop pumping them out. I promised readers I would try this. Maybe they thought I was joking.
Today, after ten years of washing my hair with fresh, warm water alone — ten years during which no kind of de-greasant has touched my scalp — I can report back. Readers, if only you could all run your fingers through my hair: as light and fluffy as a kitten’s coat. And (to answer your unspoken question) not at all smelly — snuffle your noses in it, do — because I rinse my hair daily under the shower. Do you soap up your kneecaps every day? No. Are they oily or smelly? I doubt it. Exposed to light and air, human skin and hair find their own balance, the oil-glands secreting just enough to protect. It is our habit of stripping this viciously from our scalps that panics the glands into overproduction — that is why your first few weeks will be an uncomfortably greasy time. But persist, and you’ll come out the other side with less dandruff than when you were shampooing, and less greasy hair than the second day after you quit.
Think of the money, think of the pollution, our nation could save. No wonder everyone’s going bald. One day I shall be hailed as a lonely prophet of the nonsense of shampoo.
h/t SOTT
1-800-warsavedmyfamily
Pro War Ads Falsely Link 9/11 To Iraq
infowars.net
A newly formed non-profit organisation(Freedom's Watch) made up of former Bush administration officials is to spend $15 million to run pro-war television and radio ads in more than 20 states which falsely link the 9/11 attacks to the war in Iraq in an effort to strong arm Congress into withdrawing support for a de-escalation.
The group will run the ads ... and feature an 800-number for the public to call their representatives and urge them "not to surrender to terror".
(Freedom's Watch) is "dedicated to educating individuals about and advancing public policies that protect America's interests at home and abroad, foster economic prosperity, and strengthen families."
Bush-i-cism 101: No matter what the action or policy, language must include "strengthen(s) families".
There is far more to say about this organization and these ads, this administration, the war, 9/11, "economic prosperity".
"strengthen families" just jumped out at me and pushed my buttons.
infowars.net
A newly formed non-profit organisation(Freedom's Watch) made up of former Bush administration officials is to spend $15 million to run pro-war television and radio ads in more than 20 states which falsely link the 9/11 attacks to the war in Iraq in an effort to strong arm Congress into withdrawing support for a de-escalation.
The group will run the ads ... and feature an 800-number for the public to call their representatives and urge them "not to surrender to terror".
(Freedom's Watch) is "dedicated to educating individuals about and advancing public policies that protect America's interests at home and abroad, foster economic prosperity, and strengthen families."
Bush-i-cism 101: No matter what the action or policy, language must include "strengthen(s) families".
There is far more to say about this organization and these ads, this administration, the war, 9/11, "economic prosperity".
"strengthen families" just jumped out at me and pushed my buttons.
"Freedom to Fascism" Filmmaker Aaron Russo Dies
Aaron was a real patriot who loved his country and risked his whole career to stand for the truth. He was an example to us all.
Aaron Russo was the Samuel Adams of our day, a stalwart defender of liberty, his passing is greatly mourned but his fiery spirit lives on in all of his great work and in his wife, his children and his film America From Freedom to Fascism.prisonplanet.com
Determined to find the law that requires Americans to pay income tax, Aaron Russo (THE ROSE, TRADING PLACES) sets out on a journey. Neither left- nor right-wing, this startling examination exposes the systematic erosion of civil liberties in America.
Through interviews with US Congressmen, a former IRS Commissioner, former IRS and FBI agents, tax attorneys and authors, Russo connects the dots between money creation, federal income tax, voter fraud, the national identity card (becoming law in May 2008) and the implementation of radio frequency identification (RFID) technology to track citizens. A striking case about the evolving police state in America.
Aaron Russo was the Samuel Adams of our day, a stalwart defender of liberty, his passing is greatly mourned but his fiery spirit lives on in all of his great work and in his wife, his children and his film America From Freedom to Fascism.prisonplanet.com
Determined to find the law that requires Americans to pay income tax, Aaron Russo (THE ROSE, TRADING PLACES) sets out on a journey. Neither left- nor right-wing, this startling examination exposes the systematic erosion of civil liberties in America.
Through interviews with US Congressmen, a former IRS Commissioner, former IRS and FBI agents, tax attorneys and authors, Russo connects the dots between money creation, federal income tax, voter fraud, the national identity card (becoming law in May 2008) and the implementation of radio frequency identification (RFID) technology to track citizens. A striking case about the evolving police state in America.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Eagles: Sad Cafe
We thought we could change this world, with words like "love" and "freedom"... we were part of a lonely crowd, inside the Sad Cafe.
now I look at the years gone by, and wonder at the powers that be. I don't know why fortune smiles on some, and lets the rest go free...
I'm an Eagles fan (with a Capital "F") and it was this song that done it for me, taking me from one who enjoyed listening to them on the Top 40 to really identifying with them. I never, ever get tired of their tunes or cease to admire their diligent harmonies.
now I look at the years gone by, and wonder at the powers that be. I don't know why fortune smiles on some, and lets the rest go free...
I'm an Eagles fan (with a Capital "F") and it was this song that done it for me, taking me from one who enjoyed listening to them on the Top 40 to really identifying with them. I never, ever get tired of their tunes or cease to admire their diligent harmonies.
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